We all want other people to find us attractive, but how do you actually make yourself attractive? Should you smile or play it cool? Should you be more reserved or outgoing? While relationships aren’t an exact science, studies have given us some insight into what makes us attractive to the opposite sex. It’s a common misconception that sexual and romantic desire originates in the heart. Through neuroscience, we’ve actually been able to see the chemical processes in the brain that cause us to feel these feelings, which make our heart rate increase, our pupils dilate, and makes us breathe quicker.
While our brain plays an important role in love and attraction, it would be impossible for us to choose a good partner without using all of our senses (touch, smell, taste, sight, and hearing). Our sense of smell helps us subconsciously pick up others’ pheromones, which are chemical substances that our bodies secrete and give us information about the sexuality of the other person.
Our vision helps us perceive the physical characteristics of the other person. Even though people look for different things in a partner, signs of youth and health are generally seen as more attractive.
Hearing helps us pick up on a partners’ tone of voice. Men generally prefer higher-pitched voices in women, which is associated with a higher amount of estrogen and youth, while women prefer deeper voices, which is associated with masculinity and a higher amount of testosterone.
Our sense of touch helps us physically connect to the other person. We can pick up important information when we kiss, like the others’ breath (which points to health) and if there is potential compatibility. Here are 10 tips that will help you to be more attractive:
1. Body language in attraction
We are constantly communicating with our bodies, even if we don’t always want to. The work of Barbara and Allan Pease show that an open posture will make us more attractive, as it shows us to be available and sexually receptive.
What to do: Try to be open in your posture. Be careful not to cross your arms or legs, and keep your feet pointed at your potential partner (where you point your feet is where your interest is). Showing your hands will make you look trustworthy. If you want to attract a man, show your wrists, as it’s been shown to be a sensual area for them. Use physical contact, like touching the arm. Just be careful to read the situation. If the other person looks uncomfortable with being touched, refrain from doing it again.
What you can tell from a person’s body language:
Eyes | |
Eye contactMaking eye contact is a powerful way to nonverbally communicate, and although there are several reasons for making eye contact, one of them can be an indication of interest. | Prolonged eye contactMaintaining eye contact for too long can make someone uncomfortable and can come across as creepy. Researchers have concluded that the preferred length of eye contact is 3 seconds long on average, with none of the participants liking gazes lasting longer than 9 seconds.1✅ JOURNAL REFERENCE |
Consistent eye contactAlthough maintaining eye contact for too long is not ideal , a study has also shown that people much prefer it when you look at them,2✅ JOURNAL REFERENCE | Breaking eye contactEstablishing eye contact and then breaking it to look back immediately is classic flirting behavior. Looking repeatedly from eye to eye is also an indication of attraction. |
Looking to the leftPeople make less eye contact when talking, especially visual thinkers as they look to the left which can indicate the recalling of the memory of an experience or emotion. | Looking to the rightLooking to the right is an indication of creative thinking, which could be potentially interpreted as deceit, but not necessarily so, as it could just indicate that someone is creating a more entertaining version of events. |
Lips | |
Puckered lipsPuckering of the lips typically indicates desire, and can be a playfully flirtatious gesture. | Pursed lipsPursing of the lips could indicate disapproval, dislike or distrust. |
Parted lipsSlightly parted lips can be a strong flirting signal, especially if the lips are also licked. | Biting lipsBiting the lip can often be a sign of stress or anxiety, but can also be an indicator of desire. |
Hands | |
Palms upOpen palms facing up is an indication of acceptance and openness, as well as indicating sincerity and honesty. | Hidden handsHiding the hands is usually an indication of being less open and honest. Hands behind the back or in the pockets could however indicate being relaxed. |
Finger tappingFinger-tapping is almost certainly an indication of disinterest and a sign of impatience and boredom. | The face platterThe face platter is when someone places their chin on top their hands by interlocking their fingers. This is a positive body gesture and indicates interest and that the person is relaxed. |
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